Castlegreen - A Caithness Dialect Poet

FINAL INSTRUCTIONS

by Castlegreen

Pit yur gravad on, Chon, id’s chilly for Chune;

Gie Chessie ma love, tell ‘er A’ll be ower soon,

‘E first deicant day,

Bit niver let on ‘at A’ve bocht a fur coat.

If she wance hears o’ ‘at she’ll be ower lek a shot;

Fit she sayed ‘boot ma costume still sticks in ma throt,

So watch fit he say !

Are ye aal ready now, Chon? Id’s time ye wis off.

Tell Cheemie we’re sorry till hear o’ hees cough –

In a deicant-lek way,

No lek fit ye did fan poor Dan wisna weel,

Ye cam’ stooran’ in whuslan’ ‘‘E Land o’ ‘e Leal’’ –

‘At’s no chist ‘e best wey till comfort a cheil,

So watch fit ye say!

Here’s yur boxie o’ eiggs, haud id canny now Chon,

An’ tell ‘er A’ll send ‘er some more leiter on

Fan ‘e hens start till lay.

If they ask for wur Willie chist say, off-han’ lek,

A’t ‘e chob he hed wisna a promisan’ spec,

But niver let on ‘at they gie’d ‘im ‘e seck!

Chist watch fit ye say!

Now ye’ll mid on yur mainners fan takkan’ yur meit,

An’ ye’ll wait for ‘e greice afore startan’ till eit,

They hev greice ivry day!

If ye’re offered a dram, now, ye’re goan till refuse!

A ken how yur towngue rattles on wi’ ‘e booze;

Ye’re worse nor ‘e chiel on ‘e six a’clock news.

So watch fit ye say!

Fan ye’re askin’ for Cheordie’s fowk ye’ll hev a chob!

Id’s no safe till menshan ‘e half o’ thon mob,

At hom’ or away.

Efter thon cerry-on no’ a word aboot Chim!

As for Sanny, ‘e Kirk Session’s dealin’ wi’ him !

A aye thocht hees chance o’ salvation wis slim,

So watch fit ye say!

See ye’ll no be a bother, pittan’ Chessie aboot;

She’s no chist as yowng as she leks till mak’ oot,

She’s hedden hur day!

A winder if she gets ‘e penshan ‘iss year,

Fan id comes till ‘er age she’s a champion lee’ar,

Mebbe ye can find oot, withoot seeman’ till speir,

Bit watch fit ye say!

It’s high time ye wis off Chon. Oh chist look at ‘at !

Pit on yur new cep, no ‘at foosum ould hat,

An’ be on yur way!

See an’ enchoy yursel, hev a good crack;

Ye’ll hev ‘at much till say ‘at yur towngues needna slack.

An’ A’ll get aal thur news fae ye fan ye get back

If ye mind fit they say.

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